Before I became a mom, I thought I knew everything there was to know about parenting, for several reasons:

• My baby sister was born when I was 13. I babysat for her all the time. Took her with me to hang out with friends, changed her diaper, gave her baths, read her books, fed her. My love for her, because of the age difference, felt almost like that of a mother.

• I have a degree in psychology, and surely I knew all about child development and ways to stimulate and foster growth and social/emotional development.

• I became a case worker straight out of college. A 22 year old working with parents that lost their kids and were trying hard to get them back from the foster care system.

• I read every book out there abut parenting, pregnancy, and the baby’s first year while pregnant with my first child.

Then I became a mom.

My “expertise” went out the window. And possibly quite literally, because nothing can humble you like becoming a parent.

Before I became a mom I didn’t believe it was true that a baby’s cry could make me cry too.

Before I became I mom, it annoyed me to hear people constantly say, “Sleep while you can!”

Before I became a mom, I was sure my child would never be one throwing a fit in public.

Before I became a mom, I did not appreciate date nights with my husband as much as I should have.

But mostly, before I became a mom I did not know that my heart could walk outside my body.

I didn’t know that a sleeping baby in my arms would fill me with such love and peace and purpose.

I never imagined the pride I would feel watching my children shine as they go out into the world.

Before I became a mom I didn’t grasp the enormity of the pleasure, honor, joy, and responsibility of raising and loving the children that God entrusted to me.

Sometimes I fail,  I spend too much time on social media rather than with my kids, I make mistakes, I raise my voice, or forget to make eye contact. That’s when grace extends itself to me. I need it. I embrace it. And I try once more.

Then my second baby made a special needs mom.

Before I became a special needs mom, I didn’t know what it was like to be an advocate. I didn’t grasp the joy and celebration that would result from reaching milestones. I didn’t know that God would fill me with such a  sense of purpose. I could have never imagined that this journey would change me to the core.

My baby with Down syndrome opened my eyes to the beauty of children with special needs, and I became an adoptive mom to a little girl with cerebral palsy.

Before I became an adoptive mom, I believed that adoption was like a fairytale. Yet nothing teaches you about love like parenting a hurting child that struggles to love you back. And it pushes you, and it breaks your heart, and it challenges you, and you learn what it means to love unconditionally, and you witness a child blossom before your eyes, conquering and achieving what many said was impossible. Because nothing is stronger than love, and nothing compares to the love of a parent.

Before I became a mother…I didn’t know that life would be an an adventure of such proportions, and I never imagined that this is who I would become. My children, in many ways, have made me who I am today.