Did you ever think that you would be where you are right now? Are your circumstances what you expected them to be? Your marriage? Your children? Your career? Or is your life different than expected?
When I was a Junior in high school, the associate pastor from our church joked with me once and said, “Ellen, maybe someday you will marry a pastor.” To my parent’s great embarrassment I laughed at his comment and assured him, “I will never marry a pastor. I don’t want that kind of life, I want so much more. I want to have a successful job, money to travel the world, live in a nice house, drive new cars, and whatever else I fancy.” The pastor was generous; he smiled right back and assured me, “You never know what the future holds.” I was sure being a pastor’s wife was not in my future.
It was with great shock I called one of my good friends when we were in college and said, “I really like this guy, he is amazing, goodness I like him so much I could marry him, but…he wants to be a pastor!” He stole my heart, what can I say. I married a pastor, and our lives are not what I expected, this life is beautiful. Although it is not easy being the “pastor’s wife” I now look back and laugh at the silly teenager that cared so much about material things. We have traveled the world together on mission trips, and in our journey to adopt our middle child. Money does not measure our success. And I happen to think our little house is pretty cute, comfortable, and most important, it is home.
I never imagined I would be the mother of a child with Down syndrome, or any special need for that matter. I would have been the first in the line of those that claim, “I could never do it!” And I wrongfully believed the irrational idea that, “God only gives special children to special parents.” I struggled with Nichole’s diagnosis of Down syndrome, but God changed me. No, he transformed me. The beautiful life of our daughter Nichole led us to adopt a little girl with cerebral palsy. Two kids with special needs? This is definitely not what I expected when I thought about being a mom. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love the gifts I have in each one of my girls. They are so different, so unique, so precious.
Oh how great were the plans I had envisioned for my future. I had the drive to pursue those passions, yet little by little, I changed. From career choices, investing time in projects, and learning about the things that really matter in life, I became a different me.This life I live is different than I expected. A rich mosaic put together, piece by piece, creating something beyond what I ever envisioned. I am thankful that my plans were not to be. Thankful for this beautiful life God has given me. Oh, there is plenty of brokenness in me – selfishness, lack of discipline, jealousy – but I am learning to find beauty in the broken places of my life, allowing God to transform me and to guide me in this journey of life.
Special Needs Parents, Are You Surviving?
I created a guide with 13 practical ways to help you find peace in the midst of chaos, opt in to make sure you get a copy of this freebie!
Ellen, you look radiant in your wedding photo. You have a beautiful family! It’s exciting to read how God has blessed you in these “unexpected” ways. And such a joy to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that his plan is BEST. 🙂
Yes indeed, his plan is best! But I do look at our wedding pictures and think we look so young! I think we have matured a little 🙂
You were kids! Isn’t it funny to look back at who we were and not even recognize ourselves anymore. I didn’t want to marry a pastor either. I wanted to go to the mission field and do ministry my way all by myself! I’m thankful for my different life. God is so gracious to shape and refine us, despite our plans!
Oh Beck, my ambitions included being a lawyer, or traveling the world with a dance company from England. Anything ministry related was far, far, far from my mind.
I am so excited to have linked up, thank you so much for doing this! I am attempting to link up every week now – it’ll be a good exercise for me. Can’t wait!
I am so excited you linked up too! Join in as often as you can, I love to read your stories!