At first, having a child with a disability seemed like an impossible and daunting job. Looking back at the scared mom I was seven years ago, I wish I knew then what I know now. If I could go back in time, this is what I would say…
- Dealing with the diagnosis is one of the hardest parts of the journey. The rest becomes everyday life, you find your “normal.”
- Grieving comes in waves. New stages might require new things to grieve. It’s okay, it does not mean you don’t love your child, or that you have not accepted their diagnosis. It is normal to feel this way.
- Reaching milestones will be an accomplishment of extravagant joy and celebration.
- Your child will be a child first. Their disability will only be a part of who they are, not what defines them.
- You will love your child with a fierceness that will surprise you and fuel you every day.
- Your heart will expand a 1000 times over.
- Your child will bring you incomparable JOY.
- You will come to realize how much you needed your child and how much parenting him/her has changed you.
- Thanks to your child, your priorities will change as you understand what really matters in life.
- It will not always be easy, but it will be good!
- You can do it, and you will be better than okay.
Get the Special Needs Parent Survival Guide
Special Needs Parents, Are You Surviving?
I created a guide with 13 practical ways to help you find peace in the midst of chaos, opt in to make sure you get a copy of this freebie!
Amen to all of those!
And that is just a few of them, right? Excited to read your post Alison!
Alison, could you link up again, I see you posted a link to my post! And your post is just too lovely, I want everyone to read it and would love to use it as a guest post for my Broken Vases blog.
Never mind, I fixed it!
Ellen, thanks for sharing. It is amazing how strong ypu really can be. I still want to join the prompts but finding it hard this week as my one single moment of knowing now is too hard to discuss so I will be on board next week xx bron
Bron, this is a journey, and we all find ourselves in different stages. There is no right or wrong, we are individuals, we are all so different. Where you are at, maybe you cannot write about it yet, and that is okay. Someday you will, and your words will encourage so many of us. And you know, just thinking through things is part of the journey. If you ever want to chat some more, shoot me an email!
Fantastic post. Thanks so much for sharing. You’ve encouraged me today!
Thanks Andrew for taking a moment to stop by. And thank you for all your hard work at Breathe, it was amazing! I just stopped by to check your blog too.
Funny! I didn’t do the prompt, but my blog post today is a similar theme.
Then link-up! We want to share in what you have to say!
Wonderful list! God is so gracious to give us exactly what we need, not always what we think we want!
What a beautiful post Ellen. I agree and more importantly feel every single one of your points. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you! I tried to comment on your post from last week but I couldn’t do it from TP website!
Gosh…amen to all of those…hope you dont mind. My post has been quite similar! I guess with hindsight we learn so much about ourselves and our journey.
Missy, I think in our journey’s of parenting our kids we do learn similar lessons, so it makes sense that we would be thinking similarly about this topic! Loved your post too!
All so true Ellen. But the one that jumped out at me was about the grieving coming in waves. I am still grieving, and it is good to hear from someone further along this journey than me, that that is ok.
Glad you fixed it Ellen – you’re welcome to use the post 🙂
You have a beautiful heart and such a beautiful way of putting it all into words. I agree with all of the points you have listed.
When Isaac turned five a couple of weeks back, I posted the following on my Facebook page:
It’s amazing to think that 5 years ago today Isaac made his entrance into this world. Despite the heartbreak where there should have been joy, we have still experienced the joy, despite the challenge where there should have been triumph, when it happens it’s sweeter that triumph, and despite the uncertainty where there should have been faith, we have grown stronger in our faith.
What an incredible journey Isaac has taken us on. I am thankful that you are such a determined wee boy, who has a great sense of humour and love of life. I never thought that I would be a very good parent, and it was really tough in the beginning, not knowing if you would survive, not wanting to get too close for fear of the hurt the unimaginable would bring.
You have helped me to utilise my strengths, I’ve learnt how to advocate for you, to get you the assistance that you’ve needed, and I am not giving up on the other things that we are and have been battling for since you were born. You have also taught me patience. Even the most basic of daily activities take so long, but if waiting and assisting you mean that you will be able to accomplish another task, then I am going to make sure that you are given the best opportunity for that to occur.
Tui, thanks for sharing, that is beautiful (and happy belated birthday to Isaac!)
your child is amazing awesome no matter what.. but without family support I worry till the end days (literally) of who will love her as much as I do when I’m gone? Scary!
Jack, I think that is a fear many of us have, hopefully as our kids get older we can come up with solutions that can give us peace of mind.
Carolyn, make sure your blog is linked through the linked-in widget so other people can find your blog and stop by!
Never mind, I do see that it is!