Amy Grant’s Christmas CD has been my favorite since it first came out in 1994. I’ve listened to it so many times the last 22 years that as soon as the first chords of one of the songs comes up on the radio, I know right away it’s one of Amy’s. You know it was a great album when those songs are still playing today.

Nine Christmases ago, my daughter was only two months old when she celebrated her first Christmas. At that time, I was no longer grieving over her diagnosis of Down syndrome, but I was still trying to make sense of what the diagnosis meant for her and for our family. I was listening to the CD one night as I held Nichole in my arms. When the song, “Breath of Heaven” came on, I burst out in tears. I knew it was Mary’s song, but so much of that song was my song too, my prayer. Perhaps, this Christmas, it is your song as well.

Breath of Heaven, by Amy Grant (*italics are mine for change of lyrics)

I have traveled, many sleepless nights
Cold and weary, with a disabled child
And I wonder what I’ve done
Holy Father, you have come
And chosen me now
To love this young one

I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now
Be with me now

Breath of heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of heaven

Breath of heaven
Light up my darkness
Pour over me your holiness
For you are holy
Breath of heaven

Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of your plan
Help me be strong
Help me

Since then, every time I hear this song I think about the journey we have been on over the last nine years as we parent children with disabilities. Yes, it is not always easy, but I offer all I am for the mercy of God’s plan. This is what He chose for our family, and therefore I know God will be forever near me.

May you feel God near you this Christmas as you parent your children with disabilities, may you see the unfolding of His merciful plan.

Merry Christmas!