Last week, we found out my daughter with Down syndrome was left out of her yearbook along with the other children with disabilities who attend her school. I emailed the principal, the special education teacher, the district superintendent and the special education director. The day after the initial email, the principal called me to say the yearbooks would be recalled and new ones printed.
I was thankful we had an appropriate resolution and that action was taken quickly. However, the fact that this happened in the first place is disappointing.
The problem is there were adults — teachers and educators — who did not see the absence of students with disabilities as a significant oversight and they did not take immediate action to ensure the yearbooks were not distributed. The problem is some of these adults did not even notice the students with disabilities were missing.
What happened at our school is not an isolated incidence or a true reflection of what our school is about, rather, it is a reflection of a much bigger problem we face in society. This could have been any school. This “mistake” and “oversight” happens too often as was evident by the stories shared by parents of kids with disabilities.
Like I said before, I really like our school. While I do not know the principal well — this being our first year at this particular school — I truly respect and appreciate her. She has been supportive of our family and my two girls (both with disabilities). The team my kids have in the school I would describe as a “dream team.” The principal handled this yearbook situation with great humility and sincere apologies.
So how does such an incredible school end up having to deal with a mistake like this?
This is not a school problem, it is a society and culture problem.
It’s because at an individual level, negative disability attitudes are so prevalent and engrained in our society we don’t even notice they are present. This is how a teacher can overlook or dismiss the absence of the kids with disabilities. It is why at first glance, it is only “too bad this happened,” and nobody runs to the office to make sure the distribution of the yearbooks is immediately stopped because an entire minority was omitted from the yearbook.
What if all Hispanic students had been missing from the yearbook? We do a much better job at being aware and addressing issues of discrimination when it comes to race, yet so often we forget to include the disability community in these minority conversations. It is as if people with disabilities were invisible. So invisible in fact, that few people noticed it was the kids with disabilities who were missing in the yearbook.
These negative disability attitudes are so prevalent it would be hard to find a school where an entire staff is not only trained on disability attitudes, but aware of disability issues and proactively working to create a culture where everyone belongs.
What we need are teachers and educators, a society and culture at large, that recognizes our kids have the same value and rights as any other neurotypical or able-bodied child.
I am afraid until our kids are considered as valuable and important as typical children, these “oversights” will keep happening; not purposefully, but inadvertently.
Isn’t that just as problematic? Not including our kids because someone didn’t want them in the yearbook is not that much different from not including our kids because someone forgot about them.
And it’s time to change things.
As parents, we are going to fight and keep on fighting until society recognizes the value in our children.
We are going to keep on fighting so that no kid with a disability is ever “forgotten” again.
We are going to do the best we can to change the world for our kids, and it might start with their yearbooks.
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Editor’s note: If your child has been left out of the yearbook, here is a survey from The Mighty (where I work as the Parenting Editor). I will be working on a piece detailing how often this happens and how schools typically respond.
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I wrote about my experience when this happened to us three years ago.
http://blog.birdhousehq.com/why-the-special-education-classes-were-excluded-from-the-yearbook/
I just read my memories today about this happening to my son a few years ago and nothing was done to resolve it. Shameful..
This is why I joined the PTA board. Then they dumped the yearbook on me alone. So my child, her bestie (a typical child) and the special education class was all over the yearbook! Ha!
Hy problem is getting her into regular school I live in Jamaica she is 6 years old and I am told she can attend regular school but is refuse entrance to this I have to take her over 20 miles to school and stay at school until it is over which prevent me from working it is hard and frustrating
When my daughter graduated middle school, she and her classmates with disabilities were in the yearbook. However, the graduating class were having T-shirts made, with ‘Class of 2009’ printed on them, and all the graduates signatures. My daughter and her classmates were informed about this, and my daughter was so excited! She couldn’t wait to get her T-shirt. When she got it, she searched for her signature. She couldn’t find it, and asked me to look. It wasn’t there, so I looked for some of her classmates names, they were missing as well! I was furious! How could they leave them out!? I immediately called the school. They didn’t even realize that they were left out! They apologized profusely. They asked around to find out how this happened, and told me a committee of the graduating class was ‘in charge’ of taking the signatures of all the graduates, and somehow they skipped my daughters classroom (My daughter and other non-typical kids were included in a few classes, but mostly stayed in their own classroom). I am sure there had to be some adult in charge of a committee of middle schoolers! But they all overlooked my daughter and her classmates. I told them that they needed to do something about it, my daughter was extremely disappointed, and I was sure her classmates were as well. The unsatisfactory solution was that they would get a washable fabric pen, and have the kids sign their own shirts. I was not happy with this, the typical classmates would not have their non- typical classmates names on their shirts! But it was all they were willing to do. It still annoys me to this day, especially that the ‘washable’ ink has faded badly, and we can barely see their signatures now.