Sometimes you feel as if you are not enough. But you don’t need more motivation, inspiration, or research. You don’t need more one-on-one time with your child. You don’t need more medical knowledge. You don’t need to know about all the new ground-braking therapies or interventions for your child. You don’t need to compare your kid with other kids who have the same diagnosis yet seem to be doing better. You don’t need any of that because even if you doubt it, you are enough!
All the knowledge in the world will not change who your child is, or who you are as a parent, or how beautiful you fit together. The fact is, your child is who he is, and you are who you are, and you were chosen to parent your child. You. Out of all the humans walking on this earth, you were the one entrusted with each one of your kids.
Yet, perhaps all of us parenting kids with disabilities need permission once in a while to know that it is okay if we do not have it all together. Because there are hard days. But even in the midst of the hard days, right now, in this moment, exactly the way you are: you are enough!
You don’t run on batteries. You cannot gather more energy out of thin air when you are simply exhausted. And life happens. Life impacted with disability happens. And sometimes you don’t get enough sleep. And sometimes there are medical emergencies and you end up in the hospital with your child. And sometimes IEP meetings don’t go so well. And sometimes a family member says something hurtful about your parenting. And sometimes friends don’t get it. And still: you are enough!
You are human, you have weaknesses, you get tired, you question if you are enough. But don’t forget:
You are the one who knows your child’s medical history better than any doctor ever will.
You are the one who knows the best way to help your child calm down when they are having a melt down.
You are the one calling insurance companies to make sure services are covered for your kid.
You are the one who recognizes the smallest of milestones and celebrates them fully.
You re the one who knows what your child needs even with a lack of speech.
You are the one who stands up for your child even if you once used to be quiet or shy.
You are the one who carries your child where there is no accessibility because you do not want them to miss out.
You are the one who prays for them each day and night and everything in between.
You are the one who loves so fiercely.
You are the one who will sacrifice anything for your child.
You are the one who fights for your child.
You are the one who sees your child better than anyone else can.
You are the one.
You are enough!
All the lessons you have learned along the way, all the strength you’ve gathered, all the ways in which you now better understand unconditional love, and kindness, and the value of life – all of that is what makes you the wonderful parent that your child needs. And you are enough!
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Yes I need to be reminded of this, every day!
Thank you for writing such powerful and meaningful words. You can’t imagine how perfect what you said is for what my daughter is going through right now with my precious 7 month old grandson. God bless you!
Jane, praying for your daughter and grandson.
Thank you I really needed to hear that today. My daughter is amazing, high functioning, so wonderful and 2 weeks ago hit the wall. Spent a week in a behavioural health center, suicidal, and the pain and the doubt was debilitating. She is doing better we are both on the mend, thank you Ellen for acknowledging.
Praying for your daughter!
My life is a mess. My 10 y ASD high functioning daughter is going through a rough time in school. I am helpless don’t know what to do.
I am praying for you!
Bless you xox
Thank you
Great article. Yes, I am enough.
Thanks. I need to hear this. I am a single mum of a 16 yr old boy with autism & anxiety who hasn’t been to school much in the last two years & the psychologists don’t seem to know what to do with him